It's Not Ok - STOP IT

I'm in a mood today.  Stand back.   I've got 3 things I'm incensed over.   Two of them are related and are what I'm going to go into here.   The other is unrelated and personal to someone other than me, so it is not going to be gone into here, but let me tell you, it's fueling my overall sense of generally being indignant. 

Today I was listening to the radio on my way home while I was waiting for my phone to come back to life so I could go back to listening to Generation Why about the murder of Sarah Cherry back in 1988.   So, so sad. 

At any rate I was listening to 94.1 WIP in Philly which is Sports Radio.   The show that is on when I'm coming home is Jon Marks and Ike Reese.   I love Ike Reese and what was said, at least while I was listening, was said by Jon Marks.   I was so incensed that I turned the radio off (my phone was ready to go) so I don't know if Ike agreed.  In my mind, he did not.   However, I don't know if it was a conversation still based on the asshat that punched the back of the woman's seat on the airplane (HE was in the wrong, by the way.  Fight me.) repeatedly because she reclined it, or if it was caused by something else - but they were talking about the worst people to be stuck next to in an airplane seat.

Given the basis of this blog, you can guess what the NUMBER ONE worst scenario was to be stuck next to on an airplane.  I have talked about how I feel badly that I am a larger person and I always hope the person next to me is a thin, for their sake, and that I'm doing my best before my next flight.   But seriously.   Being next to a large person was NUMBER ONE.   Let me tell you who rated better than people like me.

1.  The person who clips their fingernails.   When you clip your fingernails, they go flying.   People (aka Jon Marks) would rather have someone else's FINGERNAILS land on their person...  fingernails that you have NO WAY of knowing what they have been doing...  picking noses, scratching ass cracks, wiping butts after an unfortunate GI issue where they didn't have time to sing ALL of Yankee Doodle Dandy while washing their hands with soap and hot water and really getting under their nails because they had to rush to get on a flight NEXT TO YOU and shoot their nasty nails all over you.    That person is better to sit next to than a large cleanly person who makes their hygiene a priority and only clips their nails in private. 

2.  The person who removes their shoes and or shoes and socks.  Seriously?  People's dogs be barking after bustling to get to the airport, standing in line at check in, wrangling their luggage, running for the terminal and getting on the plane and sitting next to you (Jon Marks) just to remove their shoes and expose their stank ass Frito feet to the passenger cabin for all to enjoy.  You most of all because you're sitting next to them get to enjoy it the most.  And I hope you do.  I hope you enjoy that much more than sitting next to a large person who, knowing that they're going to be traveling and having to remove and put back on their shoes at the airport, consciously scrubs their feet and deodorizes their feet and is considerate enough to keep even the sorest of feet (from carrying all their extra weight, of course) contained inside their foot prisons until they've made it to the confines and privacy of their final destination.

And 3.   The person with intense gas for the duration of the flight.   The person who, with no regard for anyone who may be in close proximity to them the next day, specifically someone sitting next to them on their flight (Jon Marks), ate questionable Mexican food while shotgunning a case of Tecates at the finale their guys' weekend the night before.   That person who will be sending so many farticles into the air for your whole 4 hour flight that you can swear you can TASTE them, is better to sit next to than a large person who ate sensibly the night before and had just a drink or two knowing that airplanes and certain foods along with excessive alcohol does not make for good flight conditions for them or anyone involved.

Fine.  Noted. 

The second thing that happened today, and this person I'm about to talk about needs no defending by me.  He's a grown man and doesn't need a complete stranger to stand up for him, but this is way bigger than just him.  Shane Dawson was weight shamed.   Effing first of all, the guy is NOT fat.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  What he is, is extremely self conscious about how he looks and has battled eating disorders in the past. 

He put up a video today, which many millions of people, just like me love him and love what he produces and posts and we enjoy him immensely.   He got a comment that said it was sad to see he was gaining weight after working hard to lose it and that it was awful that those around him laughed about it and enabled it.   First, they're not enabling it.  Shane is hilarious.  And while I don't like that he is so self-conscious, I can relate, and the way he goes about his self-depricating is done so that it deflects away from what he is self-conscious about and it's just funny.   When someone says that something, like a pumpkin from Halloween that is still outside on December 5th is all gushy and disgusting and he says "me", it's absolutely hilarious and it shifts what he may perceive to be thoughts about how he looks to just how funny he is. 

That being said, I don't know what possesses people STILL to think that they EVER have the right, the knowledge, or a strong enough personal connection to someone, to comment on something as personal as someone's weight.  It is STAGGERING to me.   With everything that people are offended by now - lots of it justifiably so, some of it just not - the fact that someone's weight is still seen to be something that everyone is just entitled to make comments and judgement on - out loud or in a comments section - is ludicrous.   You don't know them, you don't know their life, you don't know their struggles, you don't know health issues they may be having, you. don't. know. anything.   I'm dealing with this myself because other than the traveling thing, I want to make sure I look better for my parents' party in September so people aren't thinking about how big I am rather than how much better their lives are for knowing my parents. 

So I'm just putting this out there for anyone that STILL doesn't know:

UNLESS YOU HAVE A CLOSE, PERSONAL, CARING RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AND CAN COME TO THEM FROM A PLACE OF MUTUAL LOVE PURELY OUT OF CONCERN FOR THEIR WELL BEING, IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE, NOR WILL IT EVER BE YOUR PLACE, TO COMMENT TO THEM ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT. 

And that goes for both good and bad.   Someone's lost weight?  Don't comment on that.  You have no idea what may have caused their weight loss.   Tell them their top is beautiful.   Tell them you love their hair.   Compliment them in some way OTHER than their weight. 

Shane was hurt by the comments because it really doesn't matter who you are, how famous you are or aren't, words mean things.  They always will.  It's one of the reasons I love them so much.  And yes, yes, I get that maybe someone shouldn't be so public if they can't take criticism.   But damn, criticize the content being produced, if you must.  I still think it's best to follow the rule we all learned a long time ago that if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.  That just seems to be too hard for some people and I really just don't get it.   Why can't people just be kind?   It's not hard. 

Just stay in your lane, people.  Mind your business.  Take care of your own flaws.   It will keep you busy enough that you won't have time to point flaws you perceive in others.   Trust me.